Suppose today you woke up with an itch to be more attractive?

What’s the first thing you would do? A simple Google search. The internet is awash with the secrets of becoming attractive. Plastic surgery is a 66 Billion dollar business.
Here’s what’s interesting; Women account for 92% of cosmetic procedures compared to their male counterparts (8%).

Clearly, becoming attractive is way up there in our list of priorities. Yet, many attractive people are unhappy, lonely, intensely emotional, and incapable of nurturing happy relationships.

The problem is, we’re directing our energy towards the wrong thing. Real attractiveness isn’t physical. It’s the positive energy we radiate in our own lives and those around us. Thankfully, we can begin to reverse this by loving and accepting ourselves as we are and learning how to spread the same energy to those around us.
I’ve studied women who draw others to themselves and have identified three core habits that make them attractive.

They Ask Themselves This One Crucial Question.

I grew up with a strong mother who always wiggled her way out of every obstacle with positivity. At times I was sure she’d crumble. But not mama. Because I watched her rise, I’ve been able to rise every time too. When the time came to leave her nest, I had enough nuggets of wisdom to last a lifetime.
There’s one particular lesson that anchored me when my life was dangling over a cliff. I can still see the earnest look on her face as she said,

“Whenever you find yourself at a crossroad, don’t ripple in the wind wishing you had a better outcome. Instead, ask yourself, ‘What’s the next best thing?’ Dust yourself off and go do that.”

Essentially, that was a 101 lesson on not allowing yourself to feel like a victim finding strength no matter what. It’s a trait all highly attractive women exhibit. They know there’s beauty in not allowing ourselves to feel powerless and not waiting for someone else to lift us up but by looking for a solution ourselves.

One of my favorite authors Cherly Strayed says,

“We don’t have the right to feel helpless. We must help ourselves. After destiny has delivered what it delivers, we are responsible for our lives.”

Tough stuff happens to people all the time. But only a select few refuse to let them dictate how their lives unfold. Attractive women are purposeful, resourceful, and self-driven. They look for answers from themselves first before reaching out to others.
If you’ve ever been at a fix and needed to get out fast, you know that ideas have a way of rising from the deep and floating to the surface of your mind. That’s how powerful your brain is. That’s one secret highly attractive women use to navigate life’s variable winds.

They Harness the power of Boundaries.

One thing that makes a woman attractive is her ability to enforce their boundaries and still be nice. Enforcing personal boundaries is a tough business. You risk breaking relationships, ending romantic relationships, and even making enemies. It’s a thin line to walk in because we have an inherent need to be liked.
And yet, any woman who knows herself — highly attractive women do — understands that boundaries are healthy and the only way to create a space for herself and others to maintain a sense of identity and feel whole.

But it goes a little deeper than this.

This type of woman is attractive not only because she upholds her own boundaries but also because she respects — even expects — others to reinforce their own. She knows this is particularly important when dealing with those around her.

It’s tempting to swoop in and tell people what to, what not to do, and how to live their lives. We’re constantly doing this with our friends, kids, and partners. A highly attractive woman knows that boundaries equal respect. And respect is the one thing everyone needs in life.

She knows how to wish people well without getting emotionally entangled in affairs that have nothing to do with her.
And she does this without casting a judgmental eye. So, is it surprising that people are drawn to her? Not at all. Few things make people feel valued and seen, like respect. Many relationships crumble because people don’t know how to stay in their lane. But this woman does.

Speaking of Lane…

I once heard Oprah say at an interview:
“I stay in my lane…”

The interviewer wanted to know how she succeeds in almost all her endeavors. To which Oprah said she knows and sticks to her lane. We’re living at a time when we can do anything we wanted to. Hence why we’re swift to ride any passing wave.
We jump into things we’re not informed about, equipped, or prepared for, only to get burned in the end. However, there’s something incredibly powerful about a woman who knows where she stands in life. She makes our heads turn because she doesn’t do what everyone else is doing. In fact, she’s comfortable doing what everyone else isn’t doing.

“Some people run towards the storm when everyone else is running away from it” — T D Jakes

Final Thoughts:

Ladies, there’s nothing wrong with changing your body if that’s what makes you happy. But real attractiveness boils down to the energy you operate in, in your own life. It’s about your level of well-being, happiness, and contentment in life.